DIY: First Time Home Buyers Hit Panic Button

We have been in our house now for almost one month. You know, we bought a house, because that’s what growns ups do, right? A month ago people kept telling me, you’ll feel better in a month once everything is settled. Um, I’m  still waiting. I feel like we haven’t accomplished anything. Granted, he left for two weeks about a hot week after settlement (semper fi?) but still, I’ve only located my underwear box a few days ago (don’t ask). Mind you, we bought a house we knew would need work BUT fit our checklist and we got everything we wanted (for the most part) just in a…different light.

I am happy to announce our biggest project is complete and that is what I like to call “WTF is that smell?”. Let me paint a picture for you. It’s the thick aroma of the five dogs that lived here before us paired with a subtle 90 degree Summer day and windows that had been painted shut probably 40 years ago. And carpet. Everywhere. Needless to say, it didn’t matter how many buckets of bleach I went through, and how many Magic Erasers (where have YOU guys been all my life?!) I burn though nothing was getting rid of that stench besides ripping out the carpet. What started out as a little buzz and a  loose corner I was curious about turned into a night filled with sweat, rage, cries for help and Bud Light Lime a Ritas. After it was all said and done, I took a deep breath and a big step back to admire my handy work, and maybe even pour myself another bubbly. There it was, I had successfully ripped up about four square feet of carpet and padding. I suck. BUT! He never seems to amaze me, because when I woke up the next morning the ENTIRE thing was up and outside already. Nothing says I love you more than staying up past your bed time to rip up dog pee soaked carpets 🙂
I used the next two weeks of alone time to prep the floors and prime the walls, and just like that, it stinketh no more. I also used this time to do the following:

  • convince myself that there is no one hiding in the house waiting until I get in the shower to rob and/or murder me.
  • replace the mailbox and post, because ours got either a)accidentally hit by a bat b) was hit by a bat on purpose…can you understand the whole murder thing now? Oh and I lie, my dad replaced it…I just went to Lowe’s and bought it. (remind me to rant about that little trip later)
  • mow grass for the first time ever. I let my Dad use the riding mower and I used the push mower. Why didn’t my parents ever make us do that as a chore? That shit sucks!
  • kill bugs, lots and lots of bugs.
  • see a snake. Run inside. Stay inside. For rest of day.
  • feel bad for myself for approximately 90 mins. since he left for training. I treated myself to Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream cone. Then I got over myself.

So as you can see, I got  TON of stuff done (not) but I did clear about a gazillion boxes. Most of which I unpacked realized “what am I supposed to do with this” and relocated to the basement until eternity. As much as I feel like we’ll never be done or we’ve hardly just started, I am starting to feel at home now. It’s finally starting to smell like us, look like us and feel like us. Or maybe it’s just because all that space I had cleared out in the spare bedroom is once again filled with flak vests, digi camis and MREs? 🙂


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