I get it, I don’t have kids.

Great, another grumpy blogger looking to unload via violent pounding of her keyboard and using ALL CAPS when she’s REALLY mad. I swear, I am not a grumpy (well not totally) person by nature. So please, only read on if you can appreciate a little dose of dry humor.

I am the girlfriend of a USMC reservist (Infantry, duh cause it’s the most bad ass) and we are in our mid twenties and here’s the shocker…we didn’t run and get married at the sudden threat of a possible deployment or seperation. We recently bought our first home together after renting for over two years and we both have pretty normal full time civilian jobs. We have been together for almost four years and we also don’t have any kids. Even weirder (is that a word?) right? We don’t even have a pet. We’re at at that age where it seems like everyone we know is engaged, married, healing up from a C-Section or transitioning out of the Corps.

We are none of the above which leads me to my rant. I get it, we don’t have kids. I get it, we aren’t married. I get that there is no possible way we could EVER (ok, caps means business) understand how busy some people are with their diaper duties and marital obligations. This doesn’t make us freaking invalids, it just means we aren’t married (yet) and we don’t have kids (yet). I’m tired of getting the “oh well you just don’t understand” look. Really? You’re right. Most days I don’t even put on a bra, in fact I sit around eating Cheeto’s, scratching my ass and taking three hour naps. My boyfriend’s motivation doesn’t stray far from mine either. He enjoys growing mustaches, playing with his balls and coloring.  We also have no idea what real love is. I mean you don’t know REAL love until you’ve planned a wedding you didn’t pay for while your “soulmate” was putting in extra time at the office AKA “BOYZZZ NIGHT!!!!”. Gag.

If all this means we don’t have a clue, then so be it. But here is what we, unmarried, sans children rejects  do know how to do:

  • Kill bad guys (okay, him so more than me)
  • Go days and weeks without speaking or seeing eachother and not totally freaking out and questioning our feelings for one another
  • Write love notes and leave them on the kitchen table
  • Still send smiley faces and I love yous when we do get to our phones
  • Still miss eachother, all the freaking time.
  • Make fun of one another with out one person taking it too far (most of the time, except when I’m PMSing, then don’t make fun of ANYTHING)
  • Each other’s laundry
  • Give each other space
  • Get special treats for one another at the store
  • Sneak in and out bed carelful not to wake the other person, because of course we work different schedules
  • Still look totally hot in dress blue, God damn.
  • See eachother on average 6 days a month, less during some months :/
  • Hold hands, even in our sleep.

This is our life. If it was easy everyone would do it, but they don’t. And THAT, you reallllll grown ups is why I am so proud.